Sneak Peek Greek Week – Extract 6!

 Just a few days until this hits the shops – here is extract 6 of Percy Jackson and the Greek Gods by Rick Riordan

 

Ares, the Manly Man’s Manly Man

The one who stole your lunch money, teased you res is that guy. On the bus and gave you a wedgie in the locker room. The one who breaks other kids’ bones in varsity football and makes a D– in every class, but is still popular because it’s so funny when he gives the scrawny kids swirlies in the toilet.

If bullies, gangsters and thugs prayed to a god, they’d pray to Ares.

As soon as he was born, his parents knew he was bad news. Hera and Zeus wanted to love him, because he was their first child. But, instead of being cute or saying goo-goo or even crying for mama, the baby came out raging and shaking his little fists.

Hera could hardly keep hold of him as she held him up for Zeus to see. ‘My lord,’ she said, ‘your newborn son.’

Zeus reached down to tickle the baby’s chin. Ares grabbed his dad’s finger with both hands and twisted it. SNAP! The baby pounded his tiny chest and yelled, ‘RARR!’

Zeus examined his immortal finger, which was now dangling at a funny angle. ‘You know . . . perhaps we should get the boy a nanny.’

‘Good idea,’ Hera said.

Sneak Peek Greek Week – Extract 2!

We’re too good to you Percy Jackson fans. Here is your second sneak peek extract of the new Percy Jackson & the Greek Gods! 

 

Persephone Marries Her Stalker

(Or, Demeter, the Sequel)

 

Sure, she was pretty. She had her mother’s long blonde hair and Zeus’s sky-blue eyes. She didn’t have a care in the world. She was sure the whole world had been invented just for her pleasure. I guess when your parents are both gods you can come to believe that. have to be honest. I never understood what made Persephone such a big deal. I mean, for a girl who almost destroyed the universe, she seems kind of meh.

She loved the outdoors. She spent her days roaming the countryside with her nymph and goddess friends, wading in streams, picking flowers in sunlit meadows, eating fresh fruit right off the tree – heck, I’m just making this up, but I’m guessing that’s what a teenage goddess would have done before smartphones were invented.

The thing is, Persephone didn’t have much else going for her. She wasn’t all that bright. She wasn’t brave. She didn’t really have any goals or hobbies (other than the flower-picking thing). She was just kind of there, enjoying life and being a spoiled, sheltered, overprivileged kid. I guess it’s nice work if you can get it, but I didn’t grow up that way, so I don’t have much sympathy for her.

Still, Demeter lived for her daughter, and I can’t blame her for being over-protective. Demeter had had enough bad experiences with those sneaky male gods. After all, Persephone had come into the world because of a snake ambush. The kid was lucky she wasn’t hatched from an egg.

Of course, since Persephone was declared off-limits, all the male gods noticed her and thought she was incredibly hot. They all wanted to marry her, but they knew Demeter would never allow it. Anytime one of them got close, Demeter appeared out of nowhere with her dragon-drawn chariot and her wicked golden sword.

Most of the gods let it go. They decided to find some safer goddess to date.

But one god couldn’t get Persephone out of his mind – namely Hades, lord of the Underworld.

Perfect match, right? An old gloomy dude who lives in the world’s largest cave filled with the souls of the dead, and he falls in love with a pretty young girl who likes sunlight and flowers and the Great Outdoors. What could possibly go wrong?

 

Taken from Percy Jackson and the Greek Gods by Rick Riordan, published 7 August